As I sit and contemplate this Full Moon, on Halloween, I find myself questioning what I need to let go of. Last Full Moon I decided to let go of control, which has been a battle but I am getting better. As I sit and drink my blended black tea I am faced with what I want to let go of this Full Moon. As I sat gazing out the window at the trees, my mug warming my hands, it came to me like a brick to the heart. I need to let go of knowing. Knowing what is going on, what people are doing, who they are talking to, etc. Me ‘needing’ to know has always been a defense mechanism against anything I feel may, or can, hurt me. Being vulnerable has always been a space of great fear for me. I am without my defenses, I can be hurt deeply. Not that I will be, mind you, but that I know it is always a possibility because of the life I have lived. Sitting with this thought of why I need to let it go puts me in a space, no, a feeling of freedom. To be truly free from those shackles I have created to ensure my safety. I love and fear the realizations I may come to whenever I participate in the ritual of tea. Even if just doing a quick steep to sit and write it is a ritual, the tea is its own form of magick on our psyche. I am ready to let go and be vulnerable, to step into that space in my heart to which I have never been before.

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